3/2/21

Dear Atlas,

It’s me, your Dad.

Today is a really big day for your Mom and me. It’s the day when we get to see you. Yes, you! Your Mom scheduled a 4D ultrasound (cover your ears, kiddo!) so we can see you one last time before we hold you in our arms.

If there’s one thing you ought to know about your Dad, it’s that I have a lot of anticipation for things that are on the way, whether it’s you, an important date, a package in the mail, or a life event. For better or for worse, I’ve always kept one eye looking ahead at the future and wondered what it would bring.

I feel that way about you, Son. I wonder what life will be like when you finally arrive. There are a lot of questions going through my mind since I’m your Dad. Someday, you may find yourself asking yourself these questions, too:

What will he look like?

Will he cry a lot?

Will his Mom and I be able to work as a team?

How bad will his diapers smell?

Will we get any sleep?

Will we have a comfortable life?

What will his personality be like?

When will he take his first step?

When will he be born?

How much will he weigh?

Will I be a good Dad? Husband? Role model?

All of these questions are going through my mind right now, Atlas. As your Dad, I’ve sometimes felt a bit lost as I see these questions racing through my mind.

That’s when I think back to my own upbringing. How did my parents do? Well, they did a mighty fine job, Son. No, things weren’t always perfect. But I had one of the best childhoods I could have imagined.

I suppose you know you had a healthy childhood when you can look back at all of the memories with appreciation instead of trying to block them out (consciously or unconsciously).

My parents did a great job raising their family, the ones you will now know as uncles and aunts, and an Oma.

Even as we prepare to see you today, I have a wave of peace knowing that you’re here—already. You aren’t an idea or a “what if” statement; you’re in our house now, even as I write this. That brings me a lot of joy, Atlas.

You should see your Mom, too. She’s the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her. You’ll understand someday if you ever find yourself with a pregnant partner. It’s like the sun came down and touched her body with its rays, illuminating her from the inside out with you.

I won’t make things weird for you . . . but you should know that your Mom is a babe. And even more so since she became pregnant with you.

You’ll find out when you’re older.

There are a lot of things you’ll find out when you’re older. But I want you to know that where you are now, and where you will always be in each moment, is exactly where you need to be. I hope you grow up with an appreciation for each moment, without being too concerned about the next, because the next moment always comes—just like each sunrise in the morning.

While we are counting down the days until you arrive, we’re also enjoying each moment we have before you get here: soaking in the quiet time, drinking in each second we have with each other (and each other), and preparing ourselves for the moment you arrive.

Atlas, if there’s one thing I could have told myself many years ago about having a family, and that I would like you to know when the time comes for you to have a family, it’s this:

When you’re ready to have a family, the time will present itself. I promise you, you will never feel ready, because that simply isn’t possible. However, God knows when you are ready and will make the moment happen when you are ripe for the picking.

Don’t be afraid, either. There’s so much more to look forward to in the joy of having a family than in anything you will miss from being a bachelor. Trust me—you won’t miss anything more than the joy you experience when you see your own son for the first time, staring up at you with eyes that see a loving father, provider, husband, and guardian.

Yes, you will be a guardian. And it’s a huge responsibility to bring a life into this world, more so than anything you’ve ever done. You’re fit for the job, and you’ve been preparing for this moment since you were in diapers.

Trust God. Love your partner. Be good to yourself. And, most importantly, surrender to each moment and receive all of the surprises it contains.

Life happens when you least expect it.

See you soon, Atlas.

Love,

Dad