4/17/21

Dear Atlas,

It’s me, your Dad.

Yesterday with your Mom was one of the best days of my life. From the moment we woke up until when we fell asleep, we were in harmony.

Harmony comes in a lot of shapes and sizes, Atlas. Your Mom and I have had a very unconventional road to finding ours.

Whenever I think about our relationship, especially as it involves creating you, I can’t help but marvel at the way things have happened. No, Atlas, they have not been conventional in the least. However, they have been good.

Your Mom does something every now and then that I really love: when she sees or hears about something really impressive, she has one word to say, and I love the way she says it.

“Damn.”

That’s the word I’d use to summarize the journey your Mom and I have had together so far, and as a family. It has been the most beautiful journey I ever could have imagined, full of sunrises, birds, beaches, travel, uncertainty, trust, betrayal, forgiveness, acceptance, and passion.

Our relationship has looked a lot like my paintings, Atlas. Every angle you see them from shows you something new about the piece. As does changing the display and lighting.

What I’m getting at is that the more I look at your Mom, and at us, the more I see different angles, lighting, and depth that were previously unnoticed—and unappreciated.

You coming into our life was one of those angles that changed everything. It felt like a mile marker for both of us, as well as a new standard that we both needed to rise to meet.

Admittedly, Atlas, it’s been really hard for me to grow up. I have never really wanted to. However, I’m starting to understand that it’s perfectly okay to be a grown-up in some areas of your life, like keeping a steady income, staying healthy, being financially responsible, maintaining relationships, and doing household chores.

Some part of me thought that if I did these grown-up things, I’d somehow lose my inner child. Well, that’s not true, Atlas. Your inner child will always be as alive as you allow him to be.

Atlas, I know that if we do things right, our family will go the distance together. I can’t think of being anywhere but with you and your Mom as we continue to make our way through this crazy thing called “life in 2021.”

Damn.

Love,

Dad